.>:], awsum

sneks and atrs

▪ I've been in a randomly good mood lately. The smell of living things, the good weather, it's all oozing into my soul and giving me these good feels. I'm familar with being randomly-down-in-the-dumps-for-no-reason, so it's weird and exciting feeling the opposite.

▪ Ahh I'm in love with my snake. She's so beautiful and adorable and wow gosh snakes are great. I took some close up photos of her the other day that i'm really proud of. The way she reflects rainbows in the sun, the faint gradient in each scale, the tiny imperfections in her patterning. How people can be afraid of these stunning, harmless creatures boggles my mind.

▪ Speaking of snakes, i'm getting a second one this year! A jungle carpet python from a very well-respected breeder, who happens to be local and literally wrote the book on the species. I'm extremely lucky. I could not have nailed down a better breeder. I'm SUPER excited about this snake oh my gosh.

▪ Starting to draw again. Slowly. It's comforting that I haven't regressed too much in these years of inactivity. Drawing and thinking visually for my design job probably helped me not lose my footing too much.
It's weird. Before this job, I wanted to strive to get "better". More realistic. More accurate. More dynamic. Now I care more about style and enjoyment from my art than anything else. Working in such proximity to people who do concept art and illustration for a living has taught me how much i don't want to do that shit. It's not for me. Too stressful, too little agency, so much competition, and fuck the stresses of freelancing.
For me drawing will always just be a hobby and a way to unwind, and I vastly prefer it that way~
  • Current Mood
    satisfied satisfied

random crap

▪ The 4-year-long mystery of the nasty-tub-and-sink has been resolved. Ever since I moved out of college, I've noticed that the bathtub gets nasty brown scum REALLY fast. Then my sister (roommate) left for three weeks and.... it's gone! It's been her make-up the whole damn time. Layers of foundation and whatever-else she uses. At least it's not mystery mold...

▪ On a related note, my sister is an awesome roommate but it'll be refreshing when she's able to strike out on her own, if for no other reason than I get to cook breakfast without pants on every morning.

▪ Been feeling really low in the self esteem department lately. No idea why. Could just be my grumpy introverted energies getting revenge for all the social antics i've been dragging myself through. I just can't shake the feeling that I'm a "bad person". It's fine when i'm hanging out with like.. one friend or two friends... but when we get the whole gang of +10 together I just start hating myself for everything I say and do. Makes parties exhausting cause i'm too busy battling self hatred to actually enjoy myself.

▪ In positive news, I got my yearly review and a raise. Woo. Work convention went well this year. First year I was ever able to play games with con attendees! It went really well. It was fun. Everyone was super chill and hyper-nice. I'm somewhat competent at the game we make now too, hurray!

▪ Been playing Guild Wars 2 again on and off. I like leveling alts more than I do all the min-maxing dungeon-grinding gear-perfecting level-80 crap. Think I'm alone in that though. A friend of mine is getting me to apply to this crazy guild that requires an application and then a voice interview and I just can't dredge enough care from giveafuck bay urrrghhhhhhh why is this necessary.

▪ Okay it's nice out i'm going to enjoy the weather and eat riceballs.
  • Current Mood
    weird weird
.:|, Mixed Feelings, Lucario

Holy shit livejournal is crazy now

Woah a post what the fuck. I don't know. Been meaning to for months now. Think i'm going to start posting on here again. No one is here. It's great.

▪ I went to japan. It was fucking fantastic. I promised myself last night i was there, years ago on a balcony at night overlooking tokyo, that i'd come back some day... never actually thought I'd make it back~ Really gave me the itch to see the world again. Trip itself was crazy. C r a z y. Wont' even make an attempt at summarizing it. It's impossible.

▪ Got glasses. My vision is shit now. Nearsighted 20/60. Optometrist was all "Yeah the DMV's probably not gunna let you pass without glasses." Christ it didn't FEEL that bad... Getting old's already sucking balls and I'm only twenty-fucking-six.

▪ Lilly-chan is constantly feeding my obsession and love of snakes. Had her for around two years now. I adore her. Never been so impassioned by an animal I've kept. She didn't eat for nine months after we moved apartments, though. Had me pulling my hair out. Did vet trips, hours of research; everything I could. Finally figured out it was a blend of our apartment move and the approaching winter that just lined up perfectly and got her off food because ball pythons are picky ass jerks like that. Now she's a damn voracious rat-devouring demon though so [shrug].

▪ Job shit's goin' well. Has been great for years, really. Christ, I've been there a long time. Like four years now. Great place, though... I toy with the idea of re-stocking my resume, fixing my site back online, and trudging off into the job market again... but then I remember how much that sucks, and how nice, secure, and enjoyable my job is. I'm sure I could make better money if I worked somewhere else, but I doubt I could land a better work environment.

Eh. That's about it i guess. I'll try to hop on here more regularly for the two and a half people that check their livejournal friends page once a month.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

Reptile Expo Rundown

▪ I got to hold a baby chameleon! The little thing was so young the breeders weren't even selling them yet. Really cool animals to watch. Some of the adults there were just gorgeous. Bright reds, teals, and even some golds in one individual. Amazing animals, but I don't think I could keep an insectivore again. too much work.

▪ There was a booth of tarantula sellers. I never really understood the appeal of keeping tarantulas, but after looking at some of those... Yeah~ I get it~ Tarantulas look surprisingly cute in person. Some of them in particular were really really chill. A little boy was holding one, letting people get a chance to hold her.

▪ So. Many. Ball pythons. God they're so cute. So many morphs too! Really like those super light washed-out looking morphs. Some of them wern't as expensive as I thought, too. Might look into getting Lilly a boyfriend some day. Lots of other snakes too! Lots of boa constrictors and corn snakes. A shockingly large number of rainbow boas and carpet pythons. Had no idea those were so popular. Also saw a few emerald tree boas, green tree pythons, and western hognoses <3! I've been planning on getting another snake in the next few years. I was hoping the expo would help me narrow down what i wanted... NOPE. NOW I WANT ALL THE SNAKES.

▪ Talked with the local Herpalogical Society guys. Kinda interested in joining and going to a few of their monthly meet-ups. Also found a frozen rodent hook-up. Apparently they do a lot of supplies for local zoos and veterinary hospitals. You can just order online and pick it up at one of their veterinary drop sites, no shipping charge.

▪ The Monroe Reptile Zoo did a show. The eastern diamond back and yellow cobra were my favorites. Really surreal seeing someone hold those animals so casually. The diamond back was really chill. A no-fucks-given kinda guy. The cobra had it's hood up for a bit, but once he picked her up she just cruised around with her hood down. Both of them were shockingly tame. I guess a career in show-biz will do that to any animal.
  • Current Mood
    determined determined
.:), driftloon

Life update #325

▪ We're moving! Finally! Either this month or next, depending on availability. I'm a bit anxious about the actual move (why am i such a pack-rat), but being in a less mold-ridden place I'm super excited for. The new place is a bit nicer, a bit bigger, walking-distance from work, my favorite grocery store, and some nice parks.

▪ My 2-year review is coming up at work. Can't believe it's been two years... The formality behind a review process feels so strange at my workplace. Every day is make-fart-jokes-and-hang-out-with-cool-bros casual friday. Just the formality of a review alone has me a bit nervous, but my boss was cracking jokes about trying to find things to even mark me down for, so that's a pretty awesome feel.

▪ Got all the parts in that i'll need to make my sculpted Cthulhu keychains!... now i just need to motivate myself to finish the sculpt. Bah. It's almost done, i'd just rather be sculpting other things right now. I've got so many miniatures to assemble and paint, and my skullbird doll to finish. I'm REALLY excited to work on the doll. Gotta make a sewing pattern for it, still... aaaand I'm not allowing myself to work on that until the keychains are done. BAH!

▪ Ho damn the weather was SUPER this weekend I took Lilly outside so she could get some sun. She was a bit skittish at first, but she seemed to enjoy it once i put her down in the grass. Normally she just slithers to the nearest hiding spot, but she explored around in the grass and stretched out. She seemed super keen on all the new smells. Super cute to watch her periscope up like a cobra and check out her surroundings.

▪ There's a local Reptile Expo on the 11th! Super excited! I'm hoping they have some custom caging there so I can upgrade Lilly's home. Also planning on getting some bulk rats. I hope my self control is good enough to resist buying a hognose or a woma...
  • Current Mood
    okay okay
.&gt;:], awsum

Stuff and things

• My resin figures are doing well! I've sold over half of them! It sounds silly, but getting feedback on these and seeing people actually buy them really makes me feel so much more confident in my abilities!...
Now that i'm finally making money on this project, i can afford to try more sculptures. I'm working on a small cthulhu charm now, that i'm hoping will be around the 8$ or 10$ mark. It's turning out super cute so far. If these do well, i'd like to do more monster charms like werewolfs, fudogs, kaiju, and some dinosaurs. Also maybe a chess set and piggy-bank in the future? I'm getting too ambitious...

• Lilly is doing awesome now. She's eating like a damned pig. She can smell when i'm getting her food ready, and she starts cruisin' around all excited. By the time I offer it to her, she's goin crazy and grabs it within seconds.
She's such a sweetheart. I've been trying to handle her more, now that she's eating. Her previous owner said she was never handled much, but I'm already seeing changes in her disposition. She's a lot less jumpy, and a little more adventurous outside the cage. And today, for the first time, she let me pet her on the head. No wonder she's so head shy... ball python heads are so sooooooft.

• Work is good. Games go to print monday, and by some miracle we got everything done. Pretty stoked about some of these, actually. I really enjoyed play-testing them, </strike>and i'm secretly proud of my work on them.</strike> Feels cool to work on something like this... even if i AM extremely sick of looking at it at this point. I've been looking at nothing but these files for weeeeeeeeks. I am itching to work on another product. ...I'm really hoping they just put me on designing the next game for another IP. I'm getting selfish, wanting all the board game design to myself but... i REALLY like the next product we're laying out and I super want to do some art and design for it! Got all sorts of ideas already, and we haven't even started yet. Haven't been this excited about a product in long time! Super pumped!
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished
owch, .:(

Adventures in disapointment

My pet project for the last few months is finally finished!

I'm really proud of how these turned out! I made a total of ten. Each one is 4.5 inches high, and solid resin. My intention was to cast them as blanks, so people could paint and customize them. I have one painted one, but the blanks are cheaper (and more fun~).

While i've sold a few in person to friends, I have yet to make a single sale online. Very disheartening :<. A lot of people seemed really interested in them!...but once they went on sale; silence. I certainly wasn't expecting every person who said they wanted one to buy one. At the same time, getting zero interest really makes me doubt myself and my abilities. I feel very proud of the quality of these, but now i'm feeling that my pride is misplaced. I had another project planned. A full chess set! Found some clever ways to keep the cost down so people can easily afford them. I even started sculpting the pawns!... but it's so hard to dredge up motivation when I keep having these doubts about myself...

I absolutely love doing resin figures but if I can't sell them I can't really afford the materials... Oh well. I don't regret trying! It was a wonderful experience, and i'm not going to give up quite yet.


Anyway, in non self-esteem related news: Lilly finally ate! I'm not sure if it was the change in weather or all the weird techniques I've tried, but she finally took a rat! Huge stress off my shoulders now that she's got her appetite again. Once she puts on some more weight, I'll start looking into cage upgrades for her. She's way too big for this 20gal, and i'd really like to get her into one of those snake specialty cages.

Work is going to be crazy the next few weeks. Print deadlines rapidly approaching. I'm a little terrified cause so far i've done all the graphic design on this game single-handedly, and I don't trust myself with things. Nothing has gone to shit yet!... which makes me suspicious. Paranoia aside, work's been good. It's crazy to think i've almost been there 2 years now. Got another review coming up ohgawdmorethingstobeparanoidabout.

Think i'll start updating this thing more. Typing stuff out like this is relaxing.
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed
Afraid, .D:, Oh God No

Ugh Sorry LJ I needed to vent about this somewhere

So Lilly, the adorable adopted ball python, hasn't eaten since i got her. It's been four months! It's driving me CRAAAAAZY.

Her temps are good. 90 in the hot hide. 80 in the cool hide. Humidity is fine, between 40% and 70%. I'd think it was too low, but she did her last shed not only all in one piece, but her cracked eye caps have gotten better since I've acquired her!

And then it dawns on me as i walk across the room and i hear her cage fixture shake on top of the dresser...

Fucking floor vibrations.

They're probably stressing her out. Snakes are really sensitive to low vibrations, and i'm a fucking dip-shit for not thinking of this sooner. Uuuuugh. I feel awful.

This would be an easy-fix if we didn't live in a shitty small apartment. This room already has not only all my shit, but all of chris' shit... and since we share the apartment with my sister I can't exactly just put Lilly up in the living room where it's nice and quiet. Thaaaaat wouldn't go over well. So, instead, my current game plan is thus:

1. Go buy a new fish tank stand.
2. Move tank to the living room on said new stand.
3. Be really sad I can no longer fall asleep to the tanks peaceful sounds, or watch my fish play when i wake up :(
4. Take Lilly's cage from the wobbly ikea dresser to the nice solid wood desk the tank used to be on.
5. Lose my mind if that doesn't work
6. Keep talking about how i'm going to move out of this crappy mold-invested shit-apartment, but never actually do it because of "busy".

Or, skip all that; just burn down the ikea dresser and dance upon it's ashes.
  • Current Mood
    aggravated aggravated
Badass, . ;), Duuuuuuuuude, Holy shit

Life update

• Chris and I have been living together for over six months now. Honestly, it's been wonderful. It's like living with my best friend. We also have a cat. His cat. Cat's are great. We still live with my sister, which is nice for the money we save but frankly having two people and all their belongings crammed in one room is starting to drive me crazy. I keep fantasizing about just the two of us getting a two bedroom and ohmygodallthespace. But, moving is hard, and so is ditching family so here we are. Once his job situation is more stable, I think we'll strike out on our own.

• My job is awesome. Sorry. I don't brag about many things, but i'll brag all over fuck and back about my career. I don't know how I lucked out so hard, and nabbed such a fucking fantastic job. I love what i do, and the people I work with. It's almost hilarious how similar it all is to college. Only now the projects are bigger, more exciting, and I get paid for it.

• Thanks to Chris and his constant social needs, my friend circle has vastly expanded. Social shit all the damn time. Sometimes it's a little stressful for my introverted self, but I think it's been really good for me. Meeting new people and expanding my comfort zone. Good stuff!

• I got a ball python! Her name is Lilith. She's a two year old pastel. I've always wanted a snake, ever since I was a little brat... and now i have one! She's adorable! It's great!!

• Been doing lots of artsy projects to keep myself busy. Trying out new things. Doing sculpting, mold making and casting, and sewing. New, challenging stuff. I do so much design and illustration at work, I just get my fill of it. Need something more engaging to unwind, and use the other parts of my brain. I stopped doing commission work. It stopped being worth my time, no matter the pay. Working all day and then coming home and doing more work? Yuck.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished
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